In bed most of the time. 

I have been on a blog hiatus for more than 2 months. 

It is not that I have nothing to say -- there are things I want to share.  I just haven’t. 

I am trying to start back slowly (hoping not to overwhelm myself with expectations right now). 

So let me start by sharing news:

1 - for those of you who don’t already know, we signed the contract for our new house on Feb. 24th.  We finally moved in over spring break, and we are still not quite settled in yet. 

2 - shortly after moving in to our new house, my step-daughter moved out (sooner than the expected end of senior year going off to college move out). 

3 - a week after my step-daughter moved out, we found out we are pregnant!  We had been trying but it was still a little bit of a shock and timing of the news was not perfect. Although we did find out on our 8th anniversary which was nice.  It was just in the middle of some other high stress goings on. 

4 - Also our Taurus is finally dead (or at least not running as a reliable vehicle for the family), so we had to get another vehicle.  I let Dude handle this (mostly) because I am tired and sick and don’t want another stressful thing to research and bargain etc.  We ended up with a good, reliable vehicle (still under warranty) that I feel happy with.

Phew.  That is a lot to say all in one post. 

So after getting boxes unpacked and trying to organize things as much as possible while I had some energy, I have found myself in the bed feeling sick and somewhat depressed for the majority of these last weeks.  Finding food for Boddhi and me has been the priority -- cleaning and cooking and organizing and play dates have not been. 

I do not remember feeling this sick with Boddhi or Michaela (of course we always forget don’t we).  I just keep thinking I will feel better soon, right?  I usually have about 2 good days per week -- where I can go to storytime or the zoo, and then the other days are spent in and out of bed and with lots of cartoons for Boddhi.  This pattern does not help with first trimester depression.  I hate being stuck in bed out of routine in a messy house. 

Dude has been frantically finishing up this (very tough) semester.  It will be over on Friday, and he will be around a lot more to help out. 

Mike has actually been a lifesaver (a cranky, complaining one but still a lifesaver).  We explained how difficult these next few weeks were going to be with me being sick and Dude finishing school work and work-work.  She has taken on full responsibility for the kitchen, cleaning it from top to bottom almost every day.  She is also taking care of our growing flock of chicks.  We now have two outside leghorns and five baby chicks living in a box in the living room.  She is responsible for feeding and cleaning the birds as I cannot stand the smell of them right now. 

She has also taken responsibility for finishing up her drivers ed so she can get her license this summer (I cannot wait!). 

I mentioned (back in December) that one of my words for the year was balance.  Dude and I believe that all of our transition lately has been about course correction (moving schools for Mike, moving back to part-time work for Dude so he has more time at home, moving into a cheaper home).  All of this has been about achieving balance.  We knew that this past year things were way out of balance (and everyone was feeling it).  Dude was way too busy with work and school which left me to handle family and house.  The girls were busy with their school and sports etc. and were not very helpful around the house.  There were too many high stress things happening at once. 

I feel we are coming out of a very painful transition period into an opportunity for more balanced living.  I hope to write more about this as we move forward.  I have lots of plans for when I am feeling better. 

For now I just want to get through these next few weeks as healthy as possible for me, the baby and Boddhi (knock on wood but on May 15 it will have been 6 months since his last seizure and no medicine!). 

I miss my blog friends (hope I have not lost them during my silence).  All the best to all of you :)